Mother's Day was nice. Quite lovely, in fact. A visit from M and lots of Skypeing with other family members. My mother thinks Skypeing is the best thing ever.
Then the caregiver came and I went to my dance class and M made her 100 mile drive back to her place. There was the foxtrot and the swing and holding hands and standing close to this man whom I dance with yet know nothing about. "Find a boyfriend," my mother yelled to me as I went out the door this evening. "For me or for you," I said under my breath. I want to soften myself toward the possibility, and yet it seems ridiculous.
Because there was THIS. One year ago there was this. Once upon a time in Margaritaville, I kissed a dying man and he said, "You knock me out." When I remember the way he looked at me, I simply cannot get up off the couch.
Oh, Denise. It's still so fresh. I thought of you a lot yesterday. Mother's Day is just too complex sometimes and heavy with symbolism and add on to that your beloved still being with you last year.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you danced.
Darling Denise, someone told me that you are relatively numb for a whole year and then it sinks in. I don't know if its true but I imagine every year at this time you will relive this in some way. Keep dancing. I imagine it makes Dan smile.
ReplyDelete