Showing posts with label orthotics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label orthotics. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Report from Pillville: The orthotics, the fall-detector button, mental decline, and lingerie?


My mother's feet have killed her most of her life. "It's because we grew up wearing other people's shoes," she says over and over again. "You'd have bad feet too, if all your shoes came from a church rummage sale." Then of course there's the fact that for years she had jobs that kept her on her feet all day while she was wearing those shoes that didn't fit properly--and she walked to and from work--or at least to the bus.

When I was a kid, buying shoes was kind of like going to the doctor or the dentist. We went to THE shoe store where we had our feet measured (both length and width) and a professional shoe salesman came out with the appropriate styles that would fit our particular feet. It was such a big deal that I remember that the names of the salesmen to which my mother entrusted the process.


I'm trying to return the favor here in Pillville, but the first foot doctor was, I'm certain, the brother of the dentist in Little Shop of Horrors. We're on the third podiatrist now, and my mom hates the way she trims her nails--though it is not with power tools. As for the orthotics, well, they might make nice trivets, I suppose.

The fall-detector button is swell, so it seems. The range of the base unit is pretty amazing, and my mom is willing to wear the thing. The form that I must send in to the lifeline folks is a testament to our lack of support network. There are half-a-dozen spaces to write the names of relatives, friends, and neighbors who are within 15 minutes of our house. I suppose I could write my name in all of them.

I'm really trying to open my eyes to things that could cause a fall, and tomorrow a heater will be installed in the ceiling of my mom's bathroom ceiling right next to the shower. She's been dragging one of those little oil filled plug-in radiators back and forth between her bathroom and bedroom, despite the fact that I've offered to do it almost every time. To which she answers, "No, I don't need it." Then she moves it.

This morning we spent hours going 'round and 'round over a bank statement and a credit card. Numbers do not make a whole lot of sense to her anymore, though through some burst of fortitude or a moment of clarity, she managed to get on the phone to one of her favorite mail-order catalogues last week and order 7 sets of matching bras and panties in every color of the rainbow. Given my love for nice lingerie, I'm hoping that's a genetic skill that I'll be able to count on when I'm 89.

All-in-all, Pillville is without a crisis right now. But my mom is sleeping more and is less active. Her hearing is worse; her grip--both literally and figuratively--is weakening; and names for almost everyone have skated off into the polar vortex. She still loves to eat though and is maintaining her weight. And she still has that martini almost every night.

As for the other ancient resident of Pillville, Piper the cat, we're doing our best to keep a bit of CatSure in both of her bowls--the one next to her bed in the laundry room and the one on the coffee table (I know.)  She feels heavier to me, but it might be wishful thinking. Piper got a catalogue of her own in the mail today. Maybe she'll order a new collars in an array of colors.


As for me, my favorite catalogue looks like this:


And yet, here I am in paradise.

january afternoon view to Anacapa and SantaCruz islands



Tuesday, October 1, 2013

The Ensure Cocktail: Happy hour for skinny senior citizens



"You have to start feeding me more calories!" my mother said. We were in the podiatrist's office talking about her aching feet and how, due to age, the fat pads on her feet have disappeared. The doctor shot me a look that, for a moment, I construed as an admonishment--but then she smiled.

I doubt that anything I feed my mom could put a layer of fat between her shoes and her bone spurs, and no doubt the doctor realizes that. Hopefully the new orthotics will help. Mother Nature is weirdly cruel sometimes. Creaky joints, failing ears and eyes not enough to slow you down? Okay, how about we dissolve the fat in your feet so your bones are practically poking through your skin?

I confess I did go on a bit of a tear though. Tonic water has more calories than plain water, I told my mom. Drink that! I bought her a six-pack of Ensure. Drink one every day! I told her. I bought brandy and creme de cacao and extra ice cream in an attempt change up her cocktail. Her mom liked Brandy Alexanders on those rare occasions when she drank. Give up the martini and drink those! Last night before dinner I garnished her new drink with fresh ground nutmeg. "It was good," she said. And then she went on to tell me she wouldn't really want to drink one every day.

Tonight as she sipped her martini, I googled "Ensure Cocktail" and found THIS. Ha! Anyone care to stop by for a "Sure Thing?"--which is what I plan to call my fabulous concoction:

1 single-serving bottle of Ensure (chocolate or vanilla)
1 small scoop ice cream
1 shot creme de cacao
1 shot Kahlua 

Blend and pour into fancy glass. Dust with cocoa powder if desired.

I'm not sure I can lure her away from her beloved martini, but at least I persuaded her to have a little ice cream tonight before bed. 

What I need is a high calorie drink made with gin. She loves the taste of gin. Suggestions?

photo credit: the purloinedletter.blogspot.com