My brother and my aunt (my mom's baby sister) have been visiting Pillville.) They arrived on Thursday afternoon from Iowa and are leaving tomorrow morning to return there.
It has changed the basic equation of everything here in Pillville to have doubled the population. It's made me realize the enormity of my job in Pillville as the sole resident child, the sole blood relative, the sole responsible financial planner, the sole cook and medication dispenser, microwave hot pack heater, chauffeur, and cheerleader.
I'm not really into second-guessing myself. Not into regretting. But my life as my mom's caregiver would be substantially different if I were doing it in Iowa. I left my hometown when I was 17 and never went back except for the summer after my freshman year of college. I tried going back after I'd quit college and had just returned from a year in Europe. I began working full-time at the factory job I'd had part-time my senior year of high school. It wasn't good. The way I remember it is that I left my mom a note after packing my bags on impulse one afternoon after I'd gotten off work: Call them and tell them I quit. I'm on the bus back to Minnesota. (Where I went back to college.) So that was that. And now my mom lives with me in California thousands of miles from the rest of her relatives. Sometimes I think she'd like to leave me a note.
She says she wants to die in Iowa. Let me know when, I say, so I can buy the plane tickets. Planning is good. But sometimes you just have to pick up and go.
Other residents of Pillville of late include this pair of ring-necked doves. Last week we spotted one. But now there are two. I'm happy they have each other.
And here's my mom and her baby sister, the last two surviving siblings in a family of seven kids. I'm glad they have each other.
Showing posts with label houseguests. Show all posts
Showing posts with label houseguests. Show all posts
Monday, April 27, 2015
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Proof that there is a parallel universe after reading "What We're Searching For" in the New York Times
Happy Christmas Warmth from My House to Yours |
I kept scrolling back to the top as I read this damn piece, certain that I must be reading the Onion. I Googled the writer's name to see if he wrote comedy or satire. Holy Christmas hell, Seth Stephens Davidowitz, maybe depressed people, particularly people who are depressed while being aurally assaulted by Joy to the World, don't Google "depression." Maybe they Google "anti-depressants." Maybe they Google "Cymbalta" or "Prozac," or "foods that elevate mood," or "happy pill." Maybe they are nearly comatose with the covers pulled up over their heads, or desperately shopping, hoping against hope to finally get the gift-giving thing right this year, or just gone to bed early because it's already been dark for hours by the time they've had dinner.
And do suicidal people actually Google "suicide?" I did not. Of course I didn't actually commit suicide so maybe my Googling habits are irrelevant. Why would anyone Google "suicide" unless they were writing a piece about suicide? I suspect that people who seriously contemplate ending it all by their own hand have a pretty good idea how they're going to do it, and Googling suicide would royally screw up your life insurance benefit if there was an investigation even though you managed to make it look like an accident.I will say that committing suicide during the holidays would be fairly ungainly with houseguests occupying all the nooks and crannies of the house, and Christmas parades and Santa Fun Runs snarling traffic on the bridges.
If indeed, there is a post-Christmas surge in Googling "divorce" and if "Christmas allows for some reflection about family life. Searches for “dysfunctional family” reach their highest point every year around Christmas. Searches that include the word “hate” and a family member — “mom,” “dad,” “husband” or “wife,” for example — also rise on and around Christmas," the conclusions drawn earlier in the article don't make a lot of sense to me.
I did feel like I was almost invited to the party though after reading this. "....whether consciously or subconsciously, people delay bad events until after the holidays. Dec. 26 is the date with the highest search rate for “doctor,” following a dip leading up to the holidays. Our bodies even somehow manage to delay trouble: Health researchers previously found a 33 percent increase in heart attacks in the four days after Christmas." Thanksgiving was not mentioned, but I guess that my mother is growing more compliant now that she's 90 since LAST THANKSGIVING was a bit different from THIS THANKSGIVING. This year's Christmas/hospital scenario has yet to reveal itself, but LAST YEAR there was no putting off the trip to the ER until after the stockings had been hung by the chimney with care. And at no time during either of the holiday seasons, this year or last, did my mother Google "falling."
Anyhow thanks for the heads up re heart attacks in the four days after Christmas. I'm lying on the couch as I type this having green tea and dark chocolate, which I think according to the Internet, is good for cardiac health, but you'd have to Google that to be sure. My mom is an avid newspaper reader, but she prefers the Dubuque Telegraph Herald and the L.A. Times to the New York Times, so I'm hoping she won't see the bit about post-Christmas heart attacks. The house will be stuffed with guests during that time so finding a moment to Google "depression" might be tough if she keels over then.
Merry Christmas one and all. May your Holidays be filled with Happy Pills--whatever that means to you. And I seriously hope you're one of those folks Googling "condoms" on New Years Eve. I'll let you know what I searched for. xoxoxox
Love,
Denise
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