I love coincidences

 Several months ago, pre-election, when I was on a book making binge, I made this.

It's a flip book in the style of the Exquisite Corpse game.

The pages are divided into thirds. Each whole page depicts a person, and when you flip a section of the page,  part of the person can be changed into someone else. Fun and games, and my mind saw a message just in the format. Walk in someone else's shoes. Get inside someone else's head. Feel what's going on in the heart of someone that isn't you. I thought the book needed a few words though so I excerpted several lines of a poem called, "In This Place." Turns out it's a poem by Amanda Gorman. I had no idea, back then, how appropriate that would be.

In other news, I am in this place--my new house in my new study where everything finally has a place and I no longer have to excavate a bin from beneath a bed to find a certain piece of paper.

Here are the other books I made during the book making binge.

And the sturdy deep shelves with room for books and my never ending collection of stuff.

The tiny closet is a wonder. There's room for my handmade paper, my hand-marbled paper, and all the stuff I use for collaging, plus the usual crap one keeps in a filing cabinet. Things like a final decree of divorce, mediation agreements, new divorce advice, tax forms, etc. 

A long while ago, there was this coincidence. Life is so mysterious and interesting. 

I'm just sitting here watching the houseplants grow

the dining room group

Many loved ones stand on the front lines of Covid-19 and racial justice.
I sit at my desk next to these plants and make things-- Monetary contributions to organizations that I believe will change this f-ed up world; making zines, origami boxes, small handwritten books, hand bound journals, protest posters that will probably not go out into the street.

masu boxes with lids made of hand-marbled paper

While I completely understand that I don't know how to draw, I still like doing it. Go figure.  This is a slipcase for a collection of zines.

coptic binding in progress

I'm growing things on the balcony that I rarely used last year. This year it's an oasis (relative term) despite the noise from the a.c. units next door.

First tomato (and maybe jalapeños too) are on the way

So, the houseplants are doing fine. And for those of you who might wonder, I'm not actually drinking myself to death during quarantine. I know. I'm surprised too.

How are your houseplants (dogs, cats, kids, parents, hamsters, chickens) doing? How are you?

Inside and Out

Last night's sunset looked like a scene from a disaster movie. Empty streets. Blood red sky.

But inside on the kitchen island there are tulips because I pre-ordered and pre-paid for them at the neighborhood farmers' market and simply had to sweep by and scoop up the wrapper with my name on it.

This is the not close-up version with the kitchen island devoted to making hand-marbled paper book covers. I think I will post a picture soon of all the journals I've made. I think of them as Corona diaries. If you want one, you can private message me, saying which one. Some are very tiny, and I imagine them as "It's the little things" records of what has gotten you through this so far....or what is destroying you. Of course as much as I would like to send these things I've made to you, it means I have to go to the post office. Sigh. (see previous post) I hope to have the full array displayed in the next blog post.

My anxiety is better today. (How's yours?) Probably because I have not put on a mask in an attempt to go out. I had a lovely chat with a friend today wherein I explained that having been nearly strangled to death by an acquaintance decades ago, I don't do well with my mouth and nose covered, or the feeling that my air supply is restricted.

A couple of days ago as I was talking on the phone with my younger daughter M., I was describing to her the shape of the plant stand I wanted for my balcony (plants are super important to me right now) and she emailed me a photo of one from Target which turned out to be perfect. I ordered it online and it arrived in our building's package room a day later. I was going to live the big city life--one token plant on the balcony. Now I want more, more, more.

There's so much to do in any given day. How was your day? xo

How are you? Tell me, I want to know.

The ghost of my walking self

Every day I say I'm going to go outside and go for a walk. But I don't. I have a package I want to take to the post office. It's a handmade journal I made for an artist's residency friend who sent me a handwoven cashmere scarf.

Me not going out, but wearing the beautiful scarf. I haven't worn shoes in forever.

A few weeks ago I was walking over three miles (unless the windchill was below 10 degrees) to my papermaking internship. When I was taking care of my mom a few years ago I walked on the beach every morning for at least 90 minutes. In my college years I walked in the woods almost every day. When I lived in New York, I thought nothing of walking 50 or 60 blocks. In my married years I walked the street to street staircases all over the hillsides of Silver Lake. I walked almost every street of Sierra Madre and South Pasadena. Walking is thinking. Walking is figuring things out. Walking is thanking the birds and the trees.

Maybe I'm someone else now. Someone who doesn't like to walk.

When I was 19, I had a very serious back surgery to correct a curvature in my spine. I spent a month in the hospital, 300 miles from home. My mother was with me, but I couldn't see my dad or my siblings or my friends. I couldn't walk the halls of the hospital. I couldn't even lift my head to look out the window. When I got out, I was encased in a plaster cast from my chin to my hips for ten months--its own form of social distancing. That was hard at the time. It was so long ago I don't know how to compare it to now. But there's a connection. I'm not in a body cast. I'm encased in a condo.

I complained a lot to my daughter M while talking on the phone today. What a terrible time to move to a condo in the city, my investments oh dear oh dear, traveling damn it--when can I travel?/can I afford to travel? Blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile there are so many people with much bigger problems. 

So here I am inside, dreaming of flowers that I will plant on my balcony when my new plant stand comes. I'm listening to every song John Prine ever recorded--a few each morning. I'm making hand bound journals with my handmade and hand marbled paper--some tiny and some large.

I bought a paper guillotine. It doesn't fit in any cabinet or drawer, so it lives under the armoire in my bedroom. Today I ordered a screw punch. No, that's not a cocktail.

 I think I'll survive. But today I thought I might be getting sick. I was terrified. How are you? Tell me, please. I want to know.