Wednesday, October 29, 2014

What I Know



You know that feeling when you're nine months pregnant and you're all excited about having that new baby, that precious person in your life that you already love with your whole being, but you really aren't thrilled about how it's going to exit your body? Well some of you do and some of you don't. But yeah, trust me, childbirth is not really something anyone wants to do. Hours and hours of feeling like you might split in two and all that. But yeah, in the end you have a baby.

I'm really looking forward to seeing my mom again. Having her back here and living with me. Cooking dinner for her every night and taking her out for fro-yo after every doctor's appointment. Hearing her stories.

But.

I'm feeling the weight of it a little, I think. Already. Last night while opening her mail, I found an invoice from a hospital stay in Maryland. News to me. She's fine now, my brother's girlfriend messaged me on Facebook after I inquired.

This morning I awoke with muscle spasms in my hip and leg. Skipped yoga. Iced and took Advil. Felt weird all day.

I suppose the hospital invoice was a reality check. I know there will be ER visits. The hospital. Yeah. Like before. I know it. But I'm not ready for it. Because you know what? A person is just never ready for all that.

2 comments:

37paddington said...

Oh, I hear you. It's not an easy dance.

Elizabeth said...

Start drinking.