You don't have to stay married forever

But divorce is just another word for infinity.

 

It's cold here. Dangerously cold--if you are caught out in it unprepared. Right now it's -8. With the windchill -24, and it is predicted to get as cold as -30 or -40 this weekend. I just took the garbage out, which is one of my most favorite things to do in this Covid winter. I get to walk on the pathway through my backyard, past the big tree, and down the steps, and across the driveway to the alley where the all the cans are. An unpredicted plus that I did not realize when I bought this house is that the garbage cans never need to be moved. They just sit there on the border of my driveway and the alleyway. No wheeling in and wheeling out. A small good surprise.

I have hit the Covid wall, which is much in the news lately as we all realize that even when vaccinated we can still get sick or transmit this vile illness. I am not yet vaccinated, and my provider's website had not been updated in ages. It's stuck on 75 and older. Maybe I will be 75 by the time they update it.

I am alternately happily busy making handmade paper, mending, making collages, writing, swearing at the TV, and watching my fancy new squirrel-proof bird feeder....when I'm not wondering what the hell my purpose is on this Earth. Just in the last few days I've seen chickadees, juncos, finches, hairy and downy woodpeckers, and the cardinal you see in my very amateur photo.  Oh, and I made my first attempt at ice luminaria, pictured at the top of this post.

The wildlife situation is so much fun here on ground level. Every morning the first order of the day is studying the tracks. Rabbits. Squirrels. And I think that is a raccoon print below.  I welcome all creatures. They are out there in -40 surviving. When the temperatures began to drop a few days ago, I watched squirrels paw up leaves and carry them in their mouths to insulate their abodes.

A not-so-small bad surprise is that the someone cut off my alimony. I've consulted with an attorney, roamed around here a few nights past my bedtime, spent a whole day in bed, spent another couple of days counting all my pennies. All that has been helpful--but the most satisfying thing has been collaging. It's just that I can't really send this type of card to anyone. So I'm going to put a couple here.

Humiliation

Kick in the Head

Here's a quote about collaging by Terry Tempest Williams:"If the world is torn to pieces, I want to see what story I can find in the fragmentation. I have taken to making collages.  I want to see whether a different narrative might arise from pouring over American magazines, tearing them up and putting them back together in a shape that makes sense to me. When everything is coming apart, the art of assemblage feels like a worthy pastime"