It's surprising how little pain is left. Now I just shake my head and ask myself why I wouldn't give up on a man who didn't want to be with me. I should have given up. But I guess we were both courageous in our separate ways. Him for pulling the plug and me for insisting that things might turn around tomorrow or next week or next year.
I don't want to be negative in any way tonight. I don't want to utter a single syllable of sarcasm. I hope that no vein of sadness or anger opens up and spills forth tears or venom. I'm trying not to have a plan, to not rehearse what I want to say. I want to stay open, moment by moment listening and thinking and responding. As the day counts down, I'm visualizing a door flung open, upturned palms, a rose showing its insides.