Army of Friends

"Everyone who loves you will be standing behind you in that restaurant tonight," my friend Karen said.  I pictured her with the phone to her ear, sitting on her couch in her cozy house in Portland and then I began to imagine a phalanx of loved ones lined up in the candlelight with Mr. Ex and I sitting across the table from one another.  I continued to think about my friends and family as I got ready for the meeting with Mr. Ex and laughed myself silly as I drove to the restaurant while picturing my contingent of support magically squeezed into the backseat of my Prius.

I got to the restaurant first and had a minute to collect myself.  It was weird how comfortable I felt when Mr. Ex strode up to the table and sat down.  I suppose the two of us have shared a restaurant table about 2000 or 3000 times and last night didn't seem all that different.

We've been stuck in our post divorce financial negotiations for months.  So last week I conceded the issues I thought were hanging us up.  "I still want to settle this sooner rather than later," I wrote to him in an email after I agreed to pay my own grad school tuition and forego any claim on his bonuses. 

Last night he gave me those things back.  

I didn't ask.  He offered.

Maybe he saw the people standing behind me.