Thursday, November 17, 2011

I'm a Little Creeped Out Right Now

For the purposes of dividing The Someone's retirement plan between him and me, I am what is known as "The Alternate Payee."

Here is the change in that division that has been recently suggested by The Someone's Retirement Plan folks: If Alternate Payee dies before she commences benefits, in accordance with the Plan's QDRO policy, no benefits are available to her or her estate. 

Here is how it read originally: If Alternate Payee dies before full payment to Alternate Payee has been made, the amount unpaid shall be made to Alternate Payee's designated beneficiary, or if none then to Alternate Payee's estate.


My wise ex-mother-in-law would say something like, "Well, if you die, all of that will be someone else's problem."


The man who loves me would probably tell me once again the story of
"The Appointment in Samarra" 
Here's a version I found on the internet:
(as retold by W. Somerset Maugham [1933])

The speaker is Death
There was a merchant in Bagdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said, Master, just now when I was in the marketplace I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me.  She looked at me and made a threatening gesture,  now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate.  I will go to Samarra and there Death will not find me.  The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he went.  Then the merchant went down to the marketplace and he saw me standing in the crowd and he came to me and said, Why did you make a threating getsture to my servant when you saw him this morning?  That was not a threatening gesture, I said, it was only a start of surprise.  I was astonished to see him in Bagdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra.

Still. I'm feeling a tad bit paralyzed here.

photo credit:


Steph(anie) said...

So, he's worried you're going to have more kids and leave his money to them?

Birdie said...

OK, now I am creeped out. However, I think whenever we look at getting Will or dealing with our own demise we get a little freaked out.

Just make sure you live to 112 and get every penny due you.

Elizabeth said...

I'm so confused. Perhaps the paralysis is infectious?

Lilith said...

It's about control, isn't it? Even in death, he doesn't want you to have any control over where your money, because it is your money, you earned it, where that money goes. You two are divorced. You get to decide who you leave your money to. Tell him to go fuck himself.

Lucy At Home said...

It seems that he's conceded that you're entitled to a share of the retirement plan. Is that progress?
I think I like the way it read originally. He's trying to claw back some of it, in case you predecease him, to leave it to the new wife and not to your children. I wouldn't accept this.

Mr. Shife said...

It does seem to be a control issue. I hope you get everything you deserve and live plenty long enough to enjoy it all.