Tuesday, November 17, 2009

EMAIL ME...please?


I don't want much of a relationship with Mr. Ex. Really, I don't. This is not one of those divorces where we will become Facebook friends or have some happy-slappy future holiday where the new wife and I clink glasses at the same table and murmur about him later in the kitchen. The only personal interactions I want to have with Mr. Ex will have to do with our daughters, and I imagine will go like this: "Nice graduation." "Beautiful wedding."
But it upsets me that he doesn't answer my emails. I don't email him often.
It's not hard to answer an email.
So here's what I'm asking. If you read this blog, have a go at answering the 2 emails below. (Just put your responses in the comments section) Maybe it will ease my mind and I'll stop checking my inbox.
My humblest thanks.

1)


E____,

C. has told me you no longer want to take the dogs. 
Her anticipated job has fallen through & she's now planning to volunteer on N.'s boat in order to keep up her skills and may eventually get a job there.
I'm at a writer's residency out of town.
I am now searching for a dog-sitter that will live at my place to eliminate wear & tear on Lola & Layla and save you some money.
It was our agreement to share custody of the dogs, but it's crazy expensive to keep boarding them and a hassle for me, too. 
Just wanted to let you know.
Please let me know if you DO plan to take the dogs again--or if this is just temporary.


Denise


2)

E___,

Could you please change your contact information with the alarm co that monitors your house? They have been calling me repeatedly. I do not have your phone #s in my new phone, so I can't call you.
I hope you will respond to this email as well as my last one re the dogs.

--
Denise

5 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Dear Denise,

I'm sorry for not replying to your email. I will be happy to take the dogs. I'm actually living, now, under the 110E bridge because I've had a terrible change in circumstances. I'm using the iphone that one of the crack addicts who lives here lent me. Hopefully, the dogs will provide warmth and security at night since it's pretty rough out here.

Apologetically,
E

Dear Denise,
We've robbed your ex and thrown him out of the house. We apologize for the inconvenience of the calls from the alarm company and will change that immediately. We believe your ex is now living under the 110th Street Bridge where he belongs. You can come pick up the check that you are owed.

Apologies,
Robin Hood and Merry Thieves

LG Burroughs said...

Dear Denise,

I will always answer your emails. Then again, I'm not a moron.

Love,
LG

Shanna said...

Aaaaaaugh. I was going to pen a bitter/witty (bwitty? witter?) substitute email instead of the controlled, direct, grown-up ones you sent, but they all started with "hey, fucker" and devolved from there. You get the idea. Sigh. Hate him. HATE him.

Is this unfolding real-time? Do you need a housesitter in LA? Email me. xoxo Shanna

staceyjwarner said...

Hi Denise,

I'm still getting to know you but I will respond as your husband. I get the feeling (i'm a bit inuitive) that he is a royal prick so I'm answering as him.

"Hi Denise,

I've moved on and will no longer be taking the dogs part of the time. I love them but find it's just another way to keep us communicating when I don't really want to. I've called the alarm company, how did you want me to reply to that email? You didn't ask me a question you just told me what to do. -RP"

much love,

Ex-in-the-City said...

Dear Elizabeth, LG, Shanna & Stacey,

Thank you all so much for your humor and love.
Elizabeth... I laugh every time I think of your responses.
Stacy...If I get tired of the moniker, "Mr. EX, I may begin referring to him as RP.