As the saga of the Division of Joint Assets continues, I have received the largest attorney bill yet. A full three and one-half pages of single-spaced itemized charges.
Here is what I might have done with this money:
Bought 6 plane tickets for my son and his family and me to vacation in Iowa this summer with my family. If ticket prices remain stable, we could take this trip for the next five summers.
Purchased 2, 568 bottles of Dawn (the 10.1 ounce size) to help clean up the wildlife damaged in the Gulf oil spill.
Left an envelope of cash on the doorstep of a friend who really needs it.
Offered to buy my mom anything she wants. There'd probably be a lot left over in this venture.
Put a dent in the medical bills of someone who deserves a break.
Fly business class to wherever.
Have my stretch marks lasered off.
"Of course you're entitled to half of everything I earn," he said. "We'll have joint custody of these girls here." (meaning the dogs) "A divorce in California takes 6 months to a year." The sun was shining on our patio. The roses were blooming. It was July 29, 2007.