Friday, February 12, 2010

CENSORED


So, he said he wanted a disparagement clause in our agreement. That he wouldn't have me disparaging his new family. Not his wife. Not his baby. The title of this blog was mentioned.
I said I was a writer. That I write. That I hadn't disparaged him or his wife or his baby. That if my tongue was going to be cut out, the cutting would be done in court by a judge--not by him.

This blog is taking a hiatus.
In the meanwhile I plan to re-read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott--the very first book I ever read about writing. Here's an excerpt:
A friend of mine recently fell for this non-Catholic priest who seemed very learned and spiritual and tender in the beginning, and then turned out to be a mean little Napoleonic shit; not to put too fine a point on it. She wondered if she could use him as a character. 
Oh, I said, I insist.
"Do I have to make him tall, so he won't sue me?"
"No, no, no," I said. "Make him an uneducated writer, instead of a psychologist. Give him a past, two wives, and a number of kids he hasn't seen in years. Make him homely, make him a smoker, make him an atheist." 
If you're a writer, you probably know the rest.

I wanted to tell the truth as it really happened. To hack a trail through my grief. And I will continue.
Until then--thank you all for reading. From the depths of my no longer broken heart, thank you.

5 comments:

Stephanie said...

Oh no! I'm sad. I've had encounters with people on my blog who recognize themselves, or, at least, they recognize some part of themselves because writing about a person is never truly that person, even if it non-fiction. Or, at least that's the way I do it. It's messy and painful, but I don't regret the things I said because it was me getting it out there. You're awesome. I admire you.

Jeanne said...

I'm one of many who saddened to read this news and the results of the phone conference. I know you'll continue to write, which is the important thing. That I will not be able read your words in this blog, is a selfish thing. I wish you well and am grateful for the "you" you have shared here.

giftsofthejourney said...

I thought that I had posted a comment here the other day, but perhaps I just imagined what I might say after reading this post, in particular to your ex. It was something along the lines of, " How dare he ... after everything else," but then I decided that my indignation did nothing really to support you and how it must feel to be in the position you are in with censorship. I'm sorry too. I'll miss your words here and will be searching for more of you in other places. Good luck with it all.

Allegra Smith said...

He did, did he? How mighty male of him to do so!
I have read your blog for a long time, not out of curiosity but because your voice speaks for many and because any friend of Elizabeth has my attention. Somehow I am not surprised about the results of the phone conference. It is so darn typical of those who suffer from entitlement disease that it would have been easier than falling off a chair to predict that he would come up with some demands and some more demands even before he heard your reasonable requests.

I am sorry you are put in the position of having to do so. This is emotional stalking as far as I am concerned and I hope to find your voice again some time in the future. You have my best wishes, and I am glad I will be able to read your other blogs. Bon chance to you in that unfair and unnecessary nasty battle of his.

Paula said...

That is the first book I read on writing too! I love Anne Lamott. Keep focusing on how much better off you are without that man and I am absolutely a believer in "what comes around goes around" and he'll get his big time. You are a strong and talented woman!!