I stole an idea from my friend Paula's blog http://www.myinternalgps.com/ recently, too. I've added to my blog a countdown clock numbering the remaining days in my life (based on a common actuarial table.) Of course, as the man I love reminded me at breakfast this morning, that time could come sooner. I don't mind pondering this at all, & I like that he said that. I want to make good use of whatever is left, & I like the idea of seeing those days tick by & wondering if it might be off by decades. The idea is to keep focused. And to hold onto a wish my daughter M. spoke of right after the break-up. "I just want people to be good to one another," she said. Seeing the number of days shrink away one by one makes me want to work harder at that.
So now I'm stealing something else from Elizabeth. It's not hers actually. It's a poem by Wendell Barry that she posted some months ago. "Forethought of grief"....I want to not have that.
THE PEACE OF WILD THINGSWhen despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
— Wendell Berry