Crying & Laughing in My Beer

I had an urge to visit my old neighborhood today. 

I took myself out for lunch, and so it happened that I found myself in the very same eatery

where Mr. Ex and I waited in December of 2006 for my new wedding ring to be resized.

 I had a $4.00 silver band originally, which was all quite cool by me, but it got bent at some point and had a habit of turning my finger black. 

 Mr. Ex suggested new rings for our 29th anniversary and I chose an antique ring with a tiny diamond.

 It was beautiful and just my style. 

So there I was sitting in nearly the same spot that Mr. Ex and I had occupied when I decided to take a break from writing and feasting on my avocado sandwich--and divert myself with a little email.

Lo and behold. A message from my attorney reporting that Mr. Ex wants to divide our assets.

Mr. Ex,
Have you been reading my blog?  Have you perhaps gotten a little review of how badly you've been behaving?

The email reported that Mr. Ex is going to get an assistant to help him get certain documents together to facilitate the signing of the agreement to divide our joint assets.  Assistant?! Documents?!

Haven't we already gathered enough documents?

Mr. Ex,
Here are the instructions for your assistant:
1) remove fancy pen from Mr. Ex's shirt pocket
2) remove cap from above-mentioned pen
3) hand pen back to Mr. Ex so that he may sign the document my attorney will be sending him

Meanwhile, I've instructed my attorney to proceed with the "Motion to Compel." Why would I want to trust a man who began calling his girlfriend several times a day just a couple of weeks after he bought his  wife a new wedding ring?