Tuesday, July 27, 2010

What I Know About Gin

Gordons: You can make this at home yourself. Lighter fluid. Rubbing alcohol. Cheap perfume. Whatever ya got. Remember to add a couple of juniper berries.

Beefeaters: Cute label.

Tanqueray:  "You say, 'What did you do with him today?' And sniffed me out like I was Tanqueray. You know I'm no good."

Bombay:  Pretty decent.

Bombay Saphire:  Pretty and Decent.

Boodles:  I'd walk into any gin joint for some of that.

Hendricks: Smells like roses. Warning: sense memory may kick in if you once had a rose garden.


Elizabeth said...

This makes me almost want to drink gin -- when I get back from the "vacation?"

laurenwardlarsen said...

What I know about gin: I drank a lot of it after the typing teacher "ruined" all my big plans for the junior-senior prom AT the junior-senior prom. I drank a lot of it to show her that even with her meddling, kids could still drink before they arrived at the post-prom. I drank a lot of it in a new game I called, appropriately, Stop The Car, in which I would yell, "Stop the car!" to my prom date and he would, not surprisingly, stop the car and then we'd each have to chug down a cup of my gin-lemonade-but-mostly-gin concoction before he could resume driving to the post-prom. I drank so much of it so quickly that when I arrived at the post-prom I still appeared sober and so even though I was half an hour past the cut-off for allowing kids into the post-prom, the chaperones (minus Ms Busy Body Typing Teacher, who didn't come to the post-prom) allowed my date and me to enter, assuming I'd probably been helping clean up after the prom. I drank so much of it I quickly lost all control, spewing forth in quantities that would make The Exorcist seem like child's play. I drank so much of it that I didn't even remember drinking that much of it when I awoke in the backseat of my mother's car the following morning, wondering why someone had placed a bucket in my lap. But mostly, what I know about gin is this: I haven't had any since that night at the prom in 1979. And I'm pretty sure that I won't have any for my remaining days on earth.

But hey, Denise, drink up.