Thursday, April 26, 2012

Ready for My Close-Up

The real estate agents just stopped by. There's still a tweak or two to be done. Some artwork to be changed out. A new orchid for the dining room table now that the one I bought at Trader Joe's for my New Year's Eve Party has decided to crap out. But I've done well, they say, despite the fact that the powder room is still turquoise, and my big antique armoires are still taking up space, sucking a little too much oxygen out of the air. But the photo shoot for tomorrow morning is on.

How did this all start? Staging. For real estate. Do they do this shit in Iowa? Nebraska? I want to know.

So the upshot is--I don't really live here anymore. Some alternate me lives here. Some uberhyperneatnik that has embroidered towels, perfumed soap, and only the most tasteful arrangement of books on her bookshelves lives here. How about that, daughters?!?! Could your mother get any scarier? I am now truly your worst neat-freak nightmare.

Maybe I'll sleep in the garage. With my stuff.
Oh. And, um, now is not a good time to visit.


Elizabeth said...

That whole staging thing is so weird. When houses go up for sale in my neighborhood, it's like stepping into a magazine -- one imagines a life with no clutter knowing full well that clutter eventually reigns.

Good luck on the sale!

Elizabeth Harper said...

You would not believe the state of some of the houses here that sell while looking like a dump. John was confused and amused by what Americans have to do to sell a house. I think we've been sold an idea intent on spawning an industry designed to make each of us spend more money making our homes look as if they've never been lived in no matter how old it is.

That doe not happen here. He thinks that Brits have more imagination when it comes to seeing a house's potential. Of course that's not exactly what he said, but he thinks we go way overboard on staging and related marketing. Plus, the estate agents get way less money when they sell a house here. I have to say ... I really prefer their way.

Good luck with your sale. I've been picturing you kayaking from just outside your new place.