Thursday, August 29, 2013
Postcard from Divorceville
I have been kidnapped and taken against my will to a place called Divorceville. I am trying to get back to Margaritaville or to the town down the road called Pillville. My i.d. has been stolen, and I think I may have forgotten my name. My divorce attorney has sent a huge bill to my email address, but the last name is not my own--though it sounds vaguely familiar. I am confused and have been having weird dreams. They might be putting something in the water here in this place called Divorceville. I dreamed that The Someone refused to admit he'd been lying to me about his income and the bonus money he owes me. In the dream we met face-to-face, and he looked odd and somewhat terrifying. He had false teeth and they were very large. I kept trying to be clever, wanting to connect the idea of false teeth with bearing false witness, but I couldn't get the words out.
Please wire tequila immediately.