This is from an interview in last Saturday's Los Angeles Times with Laura Wasser, Maria Shriver's attorney:
Is there any such thing as an ideal divorce?
Ideal? There are plenty of divorces where people come in and say, "We love each other and care about each other but we're not happy together anymore. There's no mystery to this; it's not rocket science. "We've got X amount of money and these properties and here are our kids and here's what we've worked out. Can you write this up for us?" Absolutely. That's the way to do it. You spend far less money, your children understand that you each love them and it's totally doable.
Well.
That would have smelled like roses, or a field of lavender, or bread baking, or a snifter of something smooth and old and tasty.
Ms. Wasser's advice is shatteringly good. I hope she walks her talk. If you are at the beginning of a divorce (even if the love part mentioned above is not exactly true for you,) aim for working it out while the situation is fresh. Tell your soon-to-be-ex that the money you both save can buy you new cars, or a little vacation place somewhere.
3 comments:
I love your lavender shot... How funny how we touch through lavender.
You have such a nice way with words. Thank you for your comment on Ms Moon her blog.
I don't think there is an ideal divorce but Not getting married might come in a good second...
I got divorced in 1980, with two kids and a third on the way, and I promise you it will all be fine. If I could do it anybody can...
I have now since 9 years a second husband who loves me dearly and I him, and it was so worth all the problems before meeting him... Cinderella does exist! And dreams do come true, mine did... ;o))
Yes, but most couples don't feel like that. There is usually someone who is badly hurt and there are such a myriad of emotions on both sides. Divorce is no more rational, for the most part, than marriage.
Sigh.
I started the process in 2004. With the money I've thrown away on lawyers (in three countries) - I don't even want to think about it. I alternate between desperately angry and desperately sad, but, hand on heart, have to admit I am in a better place, broke and broken as I am, than I was when I was his wife. (Oh wait - legally I still am his wife - see - I can make a joke!) Moving on, moving on.
Love your blog. Thank you.
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