Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A Boatload of Things I Don't Know About My New Life


Just a little while ago a man in a black wetsuit, complete with hood, pulled up to my dock in a small motor boat, afixed a mask to his face, and dove into the water. There was a piece of equipment yammering in the background. The marine equivalent of the "mow, blow, and go" gardener? Removing barnacles? I have no fucking idea. It went on for a while. If this were a Harrison Ford movie, I'd be kidnapped and held for ransom by now. Men resembling slick black seals would have tunneled  under my house and stolen....my bean bag chairs? My airbed? What the hell. Probably some kind of  marina beige-world HOA sponsored barnacle removal, I guess. But mine was the only dock he visited.

Yesterday while my son and his family and I waited to board our boat for the Wildlife Viewing Cruise to Anacapa Island, we witnessed the orientation for a kayaking session. I was secretly relieved that there were two women my age in the group. I'm going to be in their shoes soon....admitting that I know nothing at all, really, about kayaking.

Last week I had to leave a check for 35.00 dollars and a form I didn't understand under the doormat so the backwash testing folks could come do their........testing.....um, yeah....testing my backwash. Whatever.

I'm going to buy a bunch of kayaks.
I'm going to buy a boat.
I'm going to change my life.
Let's hope I float.

7 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Your barnacle man reminded me of how once in Greece, where I was honeymooning, we were on a very secluded beach with literally no one around for miles, and all of a sudden a guy came swimming out of the ocean and crawling up on the sand, all in black with full scuba gear. From where? We had no idea -- he was like some kind of ocean James Bond.

All of this new stuff that you're anticipating sounds really exciting to me. Do you have a wetsuit?

Young at Heart said...

brave stuff....I am not mush good all at sea....scared by Dead Calm!!

Wrinkling Daily said...

This was so fun to read before I head off to work and file all day. I can just picture it all -you looking on...But I guess it is like anything else, we don't need to know it all right away. Little by little like a child learns, it will all come to make sense, and you will be a seasoned...I don't know...seaside dweller? It is great to have that opportunity to look at things again with wide-eyed wonder, isn't it? Thanks for the laugh, now off I go to the land of sorting, filing and faxing, with no hope of any man, in any kind of suit emerging from the sea of paperwork.

Ms. Moon said...

Have you read this book?
http://www.tcboyle.com/page2.html?2,22
I THINK it is set in your area.

What adventures you are having! I love it.

Suz said...

oh my....go for it all
have fun....
and I turn off the TV too

Puanani said...

You are so brave! Go to the sea!

Lilith said...

Hope floats. I couldn't resist:)