Tuesday, May 29, 2012
A Boatload of Things I Don't Know About My New Life
Just a little while ago a man in a black wetsuit, complete with hood, pulled up to my dock in a small motor boat, afixed a mask to his face, and dove into the water. There was a piece of equipment yammering in the background. The marine equivalent of the "mow, blow, and go" gardener? Removing barnacles? I have no fucking idea. It went on for a while. If this were a Harrison Ford movie, I'd be kidnapped and held for ransom by now. Men resembling slick black seals would have tunneled under my house and stolen....my bean bag chairs? My airbed? What the hell. Probably some kind of marina beige-world HOA sponsored barnacle removal, I guess. But mine was the only dock he visited.
Yesterday while my son and his family and I waited to board our boat for the Wildlife Viewing Cruise to Anacapa Island, we witnessed the orientation for a kayaking session. I was secretly relieved that there were two women my age in the group. I'm going to be in their shoes soon....admitting that I know nothing at all, really, about kayaking.
Last week I had to leave a check for 35.00 dollars and a form I didn't understand under the doormat so the backwash testing folks could come do their........testing.....um, yeah....testing my backwash. Whatever.
I'm going to buy a bunch of kayaks.
I'm going to buy a boat.
I'm going to change my life.
Let's hope I float.