Sunday, December 30, 2012

Dear Monin, You just might change my life

My mother is not an alcoholic in the way that we normally define alcoholism. She rises at a proper hour. Has her un-spiked coffee. Prowls around in her p.j.s a bit. Tidies the kitchen, maybe folds a little laundry, feeds the cat, reads the paper. Throughout the day we discuss the news, perhaps go to a doctor's appointment, take a walk, chat about birds, or what photos family and friends have put up on Facebook. It's a reasonably productive day for an 88-year-old who's got a laundry list of maladies.

If I had a cuckoo clock, those five cuckoos would send me running in Hitchcockian terror. Five o'clock is martini time. She pre-mixes her brew. Keeps it in an old Gordon's bottle in the fridge. It's ready to pour. And pour. And pour. I schedule nothing for myself after 5 p.m. A short walk around the block for sanity just after dinner if I really feel that I'm about to go out of my fucking mind from enduring the previous 21/2 hours of word-slurring, nonsense, tipping, and careening.

Oh, yes. I've asked her to cut back. Talked about the ancient liver not metabolizing. The neurologist told her that her biggest fear should be trauma--i.e. falling. I've reiterated. But, no doubt, one day she will fall. And I will bet you a million dollars it will be after 5:00 p.m.

There. I've had my little rant.
Now, has anyone out there in cyber-martini-land tried the Monin gin syrup? It's non alcoholic. Can I get away with thinning out the Gordon's with this stuff? Mind you, this is a woman who does not want her martini shaken over ice. She wants to taste the gin.
Oh--and how can I get it from England for a reasonable price? It doesn't seem to be marketed here. Maybe Monin has plans for Coors syrup in the U.S., but that's not going to help me.


Ms. Moon said...

Oh honey. If that's how she goes- is that so bad?
I don't know.
I just think that at her age, whatever works is what works and if that martini time is what gets her through the day, then it may be SAVING her life.
Again- I don't know.

Lynn said...

Alcoholics come in all shapes and sizes and alcoholism is not defined by any certain drinking pattern. It is just about personality altering drinking, Inability to stop drinking, family and friends suggesting you have a drinking problem, etc. She most definately has a drinking problem. There is a lot of help for you in Alinon which is an organization for family and friends of alcoholics. You may learn somethIng about the disease that will help you deal with your mothers drinking. It must be frightening to worry constantly about her falling down or hurting herself. It is a lot to carry around for you. I am sorry this is how your evenings are spent. Been there! I wish you the best.