Monday, June 2, 2014

Escape to the Sea

I had a dream last night as I slept in two chairs pushed together in the room at the care center where the man who loves me now resides. I dreamed I sewed a special backpack out of sturdy leaf-green canvas. I put him in it and carried him to the ocean.

He was wide awake this morning after it took 25 minutes to get him his morphine, so I told him the dream. Haha, he said. Later as the morphine trickled down his throat, he said the word dream as if he wanted me to tell him the dream again. I did, and he said let's go. He flung his legs over the side of the bed, but couldn't get up. What is going on with my legs, he asked.

I didn't tell him the 2nd half of the dream where I hung him in his back pack on a tall iron fence and went to see a my friend J in her cottage next door. When I came back, he was gone.


Ms. Moon said...

Your heart and your mind are helping you to understand.
I think that was a most beautiful dream, even the ending of it.

Elizabeth said...

What an incredible dream. You know, a long time ago, I dreamt that I put Sophie in a backpack and then placed it on a shelf in a closet where it disappeared into the hands of all these women who reached from the back for it. Our minds are amazing. May you and D fondest today.

37paddington said...

I think your dream is telling you how wonderfully you have been and are there for him, and to always remember that, even when the carefully sewn backpack no longer holds him. All the same, my heart aches at what you are going through.

Lauren Ward Larsen said...


Elizabeth Harper said...

I love how you found a way to hold him close and take him to the sea with you. I wonder what it means that he slipped away with you weren't there for a few minutes.

I'm also thinking how long those 25 minutes must have seemed to you both while waiting for the morphine.

I love how he wanted to go ... can you bring the sound of waves to him?