Monday, January 5, 2015

Getting Shit Done...About Grief!....About Caregiving!

Yes. The water was really that blue. And I found beach glass too.
Or as our 4-time governor, Jerry Brown, might say, Age quod agis. Do what you're doing is what this Latin phrase means, and according to the report I listened to on the car radio this morning, it's one of Brown's favorite Latin sayings. There was live coverage of Brown's inauguration, and I almost got weepy. I think he's the current politician I most respect.

I wrote in a previous post that I'm not making any resolutions this year, but if I were, Age quod agis would be a good one. Go ahead, take it if you need one. Meanwhile, I'm just trying to get shit done which is similar, but not exactly the same as doing what you are doing.

What got done today was finding a new desk chair for my mom (has to be ordered, darn) but finally she'll have a safe chair for her to sit in at her desk. The one without arms was pronounced as unsafe by her physical and occupational therapists. New yoga pants were purchased too which means the stretchy pants that I bought after starting Jazzercise about 20 or so years ago can be retired. Honestly, those two pairs of pants really did get worn to the gym most weeks for almost two decades, but I felt I was in danger of stretching up into downward dog and suddenly finding my ass hanging out. Now I have three brand new pairs of identical black yoga pants. (Yeah, I went to Catholic school for 12 years and wore a uniform every day, why do you ask?)

And I waited on hold for 14 minutes to speak to someone at the City of Baltimore, only to find that my memory did serve me correctly, and that yes, it's perfectly acceptable to pay my mom's health insurance premium weeks late in January because that is just how the City of Baltimore likes to start the new year. They will get those invoices in the mail in a couple of weeks. Any other month that you pay late, you'll get a cancellation letter announcing that your policy will be cancelled within twelve days of the date on the letter. Which in my mom's case would be a financial debacle of proportions similar to what Jerry Brown took on with California's debt after Schwarzenegger's reign.

And also under the heading of unhappy tidings, I researched the cost of a power washing service to clean my boat dock which, as has been called to my attention by the HOA, needs a thorough cleaning. I'm normally all into maintenance and cleaning, but since I really don't get away to kayak anymore, it's like outta sight, outta mind. I'm the disgrace of the neighborhood.

And I am monitoring the fuck out of my mental health. I plan to take the month of January to record my lack of wellbeing in some cogent way and consider getting back on some meds. For those of you in a similarly leaky boat, I found some worthwhile things here:

Resolutions after a Trauma
Your Resolution Absolution
Self Portraits of Living after Loss

And in the caregiving department, I found THIS immensely helpful as I pondered whether or not it would be okay to try and get my mom into assisted living.

And meanwhile, here in Pillville, I'm doing what I do.


Ms. Moon said...

I have absolutely not wanted to mention assisted living for your mother but Denise...well.
I really don't have any right to say anything except that I want you to be well.
Whatever that means. Whatever that takes.
Loving you...M

Allison said...

I wish you well, as well. It's a tough thing to decide and do. It's all hard.

37paddington said...

Thank you for that link! Fascinating!

Elizabeth said...

The link is great. I'd also recommend throwing the iChing. In fact, maybe I should come up there and do it with you. We can drink wine and see what the oracle tells you. It operates under the principle of synchronicity, which C.J. Jung himself coined. I have a feeling that you already know what you need/should do. But whatever it is, get that mental health stuff taken care of --

jeannine nye said...

Happy New Year to you friend.. Assisted living for your mother, would remove all the anxieties that come along when they are living with you in your home. We looked after my husband's parents and although both were afflicted, him with Parkinsons and her with dementia, we somehow hung on to them because they could live in the part of our house that was separate. If they had been within our house, I do not think we could have managed. We had assistance from the council, but even so, our days were locked into doing so much more for them. At the time we soldiered on, but when they had gone, we realised just what a horrific strain it had been. With the best will in the world, I would advise you to try and find a safe place for her to stay, so that you can pay attention to getting your own health back.. that is important for you. Your mother has had a good life with you and I am sure she appreciates how its been. My experience is, that they get very selfish in very old age and do not wish to change things, but for your own health I think its best you do at least consider. Its been a terrible year of grief that you have not had the time to explore and move on from.. All the hugs in the world, from over the pond, janzi