Sunday, July 12, 2009

State of Grace

I've said before that blogging, for me, is a little like praying.  In fact the word,"cyberspace"  conjures an image much like my childhood image of heaven.  My friend D. called me this afternoon as I sat at my mother's kitchen table.  She'd read my blog and correctly perceived I was in a rough patch.  The bottle of Xanax was still calling my name and I was wondering if I'd seen my aunt for the last time and worrying about what my mom's surgeon might propose on Monday. 
D. and I talked for a while about a lot of stuff and presto--I felt better. 
My sister-in-law, M., called the night I got to my mom's and that was a good phone call, too. She almost always checks up on me when I travel to see if I've arrived safely.  
Other friends have left comments and sent me emails and these are all answered prayers as far as I'm concerned.
During my many years of Catholic school, I was taught that "a state of Grace" was the absence of sin and that was the state one hoped to find oneself in at the moment of death so as to go promptly to heaven.  But nowadays, I'm feeling that the state of Grace is the place that friends and family can bring me to when I am weary with worry and bitterness.


Elizabeth said...

Yes. Yes. Yes. Friends are here, both in the flesh and out in cyberspace. Grace is with you -- it shines out from your lovely face and sensibilities. I hope for the best -- for you and your family. And much love...

jules said...

Grace is the opportunity to lean back, and witness your own pain, from the security of the arms of those who love you.