Monday, September 19, 2011

Divorce Sickness

"Love sickness" has been supported by some hard science in recent years. I'm pretty sure I emailed a copy of this article to a certain someone.

So if a person can have love sickness, how about divorce sickness?
Things aren't quite wrapped up with my divorce yet. Close. But not over. The stipulation to divide joint assets still needs to be recorded with the court. Meanwhile I have an additional attorney to deal with--the one who will handle dividing the pension funds. It took me days to open her email. You'd think I was scheduling a colonoscopy. Today there was an actual envelope from this law firm in my mail. White powder might as well have come sifting out of it.  I think I might have food poisoning, I told the man who loves me. But I'm fine, really. I opened the envelope--finally. I took a shower. Made some fresh vegetable juice.

Weary. Four years and two months since my marriage ended. I am weary and broke and just plain sick of anything that has to do with my divorce.

And I really wish lawyers were more like doctors. Doctors nowadays tell you what is going on. I can go to my dermatologist to have a cyst removed, and she's a fount of information--and after she's done telling you about cysts, she pulls handouts out of cabinet and sends you home with an information sheet. All that without even asking a question. And it doesn't cost hundreds of dollars an hour.

photo credit:
kiki.typepad.com

7 comments:

Lilith said...

Divorce and lawyers seem designed to make things harder and more costly, instead of cost and time efficient. Why is that?

stephanie said...

An old counselor of mine diagnosed me with lovesickness. (I clicked on that article and skimmed it, but I noticed it was published in 2005, which I think is around the time I was seeing her.) She was kind of nuts, though. Like, she would tell me about other clients and she would tell me about the times she locked herself in hotel rooms and ate bananas because she thought she has a B vitamin deficiency. Well, anyway, that is enough about that. I can't imagine the kind of stress you've been under about this.

giftsofthejourney said...

The money I wasted on lawyers AFTER my divorce was obscene. As to divorce sickness, I was not surprised to discover my spot of melanoma right after the breakup.

I hope yours is finished as soon as possible. You must be exhausted!

TalesNTypos said...

:-(

Lucy At Home said...

My ex decided to walk out on me after we'd been married 32 1/2 years, then took another 9 months doing it. We got the financial situation ironed out before he moved out. I highly recommend getting it over with so you can move on. A few weeks before my divorce was final, I found out the ex bought a house, which means he hid substantial sums of money from me. I wanted the marriage to be over so much that I didn't tell my lawyer. Let it go. Not that my life sucks any less than it did at the end of my marriage, but it's a different kind of sucking. I found your blog through Ms. Moon's blog. She stood by me through some of the worst times of my separation. Then I stopped blogging.

Anonymous said...

Ana another thing . . . the one tiny glimmer of light I was hoping for was that I'd be one of those women who lost weight through the stress, lack of money, lack of interest in food, lack of energy to shop or cook . . . but no, despite all that I managed to, on top of everything else, gain close to thirty pounds. Irrelevant in the great scheme of things, I know, but irritates me nonetheless.

My mystery word is 'reddi' - a sign? I am ready to move on, just have to, well, move on . . .

Wrinkling Daily said...

I was glad to stumble here to find that I am not the only one stuck in a never-ending divorce. I am so very sick of it all, and at least now, I have a diagnosis. Thanks.