Friday, March 27, 2015
Report from Pillville: The Triumphant Return
My mom is home. A stop for fro-yo, a stop for antibiotics, and zoom. There I was at the kitchen island, figuring out what meds she still needs to take today.
The first thing she did was pluck her eyebrows.
We had frozen pizza and a fruit plate for dinner. And of course she had a martini.
Why-oh-why does it take hours to get released from the hospital? They told me she was going to get released this morning, but the actual process took all day. You could bust out of prison with a file and a shovel in that amount of time.
And what the fuck is up with the bread they serve? The toast is soggy. The hamburger buns are soggy. The dinner rolls are soggy. Is there something about soggy bread that supposed to propel you back to robust health? I don't think so. So stop serving that shit.
Dizziness actually sounds like fun to me right now.
I should probably have some wine.