Sunday, May 10, 2015

The State of the State of Margaritaville: 2014 vs 2015

Mother's Day was nice. Quite lovely, in fact. A visit from M and lots of Skypeing with other family members. My mother thinks Skypeing is the best thing ever.

Then the caregiver came and  I went to my dance class and M made her 100 mile drive back to her place. There was the foxtrot and the swing and holding hands and standing close to this man whom I dance with yet know nothing about. "Find a boyfriend," my mother yelled to me as I went out the door this evening. "For me or for you," I said under my breath. I want to soften myself toward the possibility, and yet it seems ridiculous.

Because there was THIS. One year ago there was this. Once upon a time in Margaritaville, I kissed a dying man and he said,  "You knock me out."  When I remember the way he looked at me, I simply cannot get up off the couch.


Ms. Moon said...

Oh, Denise. It's still so fresh. I thought of you a lot yesterday. Mother's Day is just too complex sometimes and heavy with symbolism and add on to that your beloved still being with you last year.
I am glad you danced.

37paddington said...

Darling Denise, someone told me that you are relatively numb for a whole year and then it sinks in. I don't know if its true but I imagine every year at this time you will relive this in some way. Keep dancing. I imagine it makes Dan smile.